Fraud Police? Watch Out For The Age Police!

Next to the Fraud Police, I have this illogical feeling that the Age Police will soon come knocking.

He wants to drag me to this dimly-lighted cell and lecture me about this seemingly pointless pursuit of the age-old rock & roll dream.

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That I am too old to be doing what I’m doing now, accepting one scant late night gig after another (and another one in a year if I’m lucky), that I should leave it to the young, lean, beautiful ones to make songs about their youthful angst and discontent.

The Age Police taunts me that I am way past my prime, that I should be settling down to a regular job where you don’t have to make up little ditties about how angry you are with the world.

I will just let the lecturing run its course, and then when The Age Police is not looking, I will escape and run off into the wild once more.

I’ll get back to writing these little songs that very few would probably hear, until the next time he finds me hiding in this junkyard.

I’ll be found busy, stringing together rusty wires across a rotting board and fiddling with the bowels of broken toys just to make a sound and write another quickly-forgotten song.

I’ve evaded him for the past 20 years (I’ve had close brushes), but what else can I do? Making songs up has become a hard habit to break.

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Define Your Own Success, and Fuck The Naysayers

To those who keep telling me to never give up, thank you so much. You don’t know how much that means to me. I will be busy in the next few weeks squeezing in studio time in between taking care of my two asthmatic sons, taking care of an old semi-blind dog, and keeping our household running smoothly. I was told that if I’m lost, all I have to do is retrace my steps. Which is what I am doing now with my music.

Even if I play electronic music now and perform mostly with synthesizers and samplers, I am still a guitarist by orientation. Most of my songs are written as guitar riffs. As part of my step to recovery, I re-stringed my old classical acoustic, which I haven’t touched for a year due to depression and mental exhaustion with my job as a journalist last year. My trusty guitar has never left me, and has been my faithful songwriting companion, and I’m writing new songs with it now.

People I know always ask me why I can’t just be this or that, usually referring to several jobs I’ve held in the past 12 years, saying that I can do those jobs because I’m good at them, whether it’s being a sales executive, a computer technician, an office manager, a technical assistant, a sous chef, and a journalist. I just tell them that while I can do those jobs, my heart is always into music, and I’ll get strange looks as I’m crazy, if not head shakes because they think I made a terrible career choice.

I cannot gig or tour until the baby can walk on his own, and until the EP recording is done, and there is a part of me that felt lost since last year, not to mention that depression and financial difficulties got into the mix. We are now recovering as a family, my wife and our friends are helping me recover from my depression, so I have so much to be thankful for.

Plans are being made to get back on the musical track, and there is so much work to do (promote EP with press conference, do album launch, shoot music videos, make a covers album, enlarge local following, start a crowd-funding campaign, etc.). I need to be organized and my partner/manager is taking over that part of my life so I can focus on being creative and taking care of our kids at the same time. The Philippine music scene is very unpredictable and chaotic, and while not much can be said of its industry infrastructure, and not as established like the US and Europe, there is a musical culture, and people do spend money for music. In fact, Spotify is making a lot of promotions in the country and is establishing its hold since it opened its services to the Philippines last year.

I’m making the best of current limitations, which is what most people do anyway. I have to remind myself that I’ve come far already, and that I am seeing parts of my dreams years ago becoming true.
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